A server for friends is a different problem from a server in general: you are not building infrastructure; you are trying to get five specific people into one world with the least friction possible. The right answer depends on what those five people play on, so start there, then pick one of the three ways below.
Step 0: check what everyone plays on
Minecraft is two different games that do not talk to each other by default. Java Edition runs on PC and Mac and is where mods and most plugins live. Bedrock Edition is what phones, tablets, consoles and the Windows "Minecraft" app run. A Java server accepts Java players; a Bedrock server accepts Bedrock players; mixing the two needs a Java server running GeyserMC, which translates for Bedrock players (that setup is called crossplay).
| Your group | Server you need |
|---|---|
| Everyone on PC with Java Edition | Java server (vanilla, Paper or modded) |
| Everyone on phones / consoles / Windows app | Bedrock server |
| Mixed: some PC, some console or phone | Java server with crossplay (GeyserMC); see the crossplay guide |
Get this wrong and the server works perfectly for half the group and is invisible to the other half, which is the most common way a friend-server evening dies.
Way 1: free, while you play
If everyone is on the same Wi-Fi, open your world to LAN (Java: pause menu, Open to LAN; Bedrock: friends see your world automatically). Across the internet on Bedrock, anyone on your friends list can join your world while you are in it. Both are genuinely free and genuinely instant.
The catch is the same for both: the world lives on your device and exists only while you play. Nobody explores while you are at work, the world lags when your device does, and Java friends cannot join a Bedrock world at all. Free hosts like Aternos remove the "only while you play" problem but add queues and sleep timers; our free hosting comparison covers those honestly.
Way 2: host it on someone's PC
One friend runs the server software on their computer. It costs nothing, it teaches you a lot, and it is the way most of us did it first. Three things have to be true for it to work as a shared server, though: that PC has to stay on whenever anyone wants to play, it needs 2 to 4 GB of RAM to spare on top of the game itself, and the router has to be port forwarded so friends outside the house can connect.
Port forwarding is the step that eats the evening: router admin pages, static local IPs, and ISPs using CGNAT that make it impossible no matter what you click. The full walkthrough is in the self-hosting guide and the port forwarding guide. One more honest note: sharing the server address means sharing that friend's home IP with everyone who gets it.
Way 3: rent a server (the Tuesday-night option)
A hosted server is the self-hosted setup with every sharp edge filed off: the machine is always on, the address is public from the first second, and there is no router involved. On SpawnFort you pick Java, Bedrock or the crossplay checkbox, and the server is live in about 30 seconds with an address like yourname.spawnfort.host that never changes, even if you rename the server later. Plans start at a few dollars a month, which split across a friend group is less than anyone's snack budget.
Set the group up so the server survives
Whichever way you picked, the servers that are still alive in month three all did the same four things in week one:
- Whitelist before you share. An open server gets found by strangers surprisingly fast. Turn the whitelist on and add your friends by name; the whitelist guide has the exact commands.
- Pin one address. Put the server address in the Discord channel topic once. If the address can change (self-hosting on a home IP), expect to re-explain it weekly; if it cannot, you never think about it again. Stuck on a name? The server name generator also checks whether the join address is free.
- Share the keys. Someone besides you should be able to restart the server or kick a griefer while you are at dinner. On SpawnFort you can invite a friend to the panel as an operator (power and console access without settings access) instead of sharing your password.
- Back up before big experiments. The first TNT machine or sketchy mod install is exactly when you want yesterday's world one click away.
Which way should your group pick?
Same house, one evening: LAN, no contest. One technical friend with a spare PC that can stay on, and everyone on Java: self-hosting is free and a fun project. Everyone else, and any mixed-device group: a hosted server is the version of this that still works on a random Tuesday, when the person who set it up is not home to fix anything.